Hi, First I want to say that this is a great website, I come here once in while to read various thoughts and discussions on feminism and other topics It's great that sites like these exist.

Here's my question: is feminism as good for men as feminist's say?

Here's an example of why I question it: There are many guys who have been taught with feminist views to respect women and not to treat them or see them as sexual objects. Obviously respecting women and treating them as being equal to men is logical, and should have never been an issue in society in the first place.

However, many guys feel that it is also wrong to see females as sexual beings, and in order to be polite and respectful, they will wait for a girl to approach them to initiate a relationship or sex. From what I've seen and witnessed (I'm 28 by the way), regardless of what people like to believe, girls rarely approach guys when it comes to sex and relationships. This leaves many of these guys alone for years because they believe that they're disrespecting females if they approach them with sex and relationships on their minds. They don't want to be seen as sexually harassing them, or too sexually aggressive, so they wait, and end up alone in the process and wondering why.

Furthermore, Feminism, from what I've seen, shows men to see women as equals. However, it doesn't seem to show men and women the similarities and differences between each other and how to explore each other sexually/intimately,and relationship-wise so that both have more of an equal understanding of each other.

Feminism doesn't seem to show men and women how to love each other equally. Instead, feminism shows women they can do what men can do,and it shows men to respect women and embrace femininity on to themselves,but it doesn't seem to really bring men and women together. It bothers me that even though feminism preaches equality of the sexes,it doesn't seem to get the sexes to really understand each other.

Society is full of women who don't really understand men and what they go through in life, and vice versa. I've met many educated women, (some feminists) who claim they understand men and know what they're all about but they really only have biased beliefs about them, and vice versa. And so what we have in society is a bunch of people believing in nonsense about the opposite sex. And that nonsense many times separates some men and women indefinitely. There can be no real equality until both sexes truly understand each other, and I think feminism, since it's for equality, has some responsibility with that. I've read how feminism talks a lot about relationships and understandings with lesbianism, but rarely have I've seen that about heterosexuality. And I'm not just talking about love between men and women, but also friendships, or work buddy relationships, etc. What are your thoughts?

Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble.

Thanks for reading!

Feminism isn't generally about men and women becoming one, but recognizing that men and women are capable of different things, not based on their gender, but based on how they are individually. When it comes to sexual relationships, for instance, some women are inherently more aggressive or more willing to take initiative than men, and of course, some men have natural instincts in this direction. It's really about the individual, not the gender.

Similarly, some men feel pressure to act sexually aggressive, though that's not their natural instinct and women give in to being sexually vulnerable or vague when they actually have alternative desires. The point isn't that we behave the same way, but that we are allowed to behave in a way that is more natural or unique to us as individuals. Of course, with that will come more mutual understanding of what both partners want.

I hope that helps to clarify.

-- Amy