Amy,

I am a 30 year old woman that was molested by my sister when I was a young child.  I have not really come to terms with what happened to me.  I have so much anger inside of me because I feel like my sister took away my whole childhood.  Most of my memories are not happy ones.  I tend to avoid any little conflict in my life, and bottle up my emotions.  Just not sure where to go.  I want to be complete and get rid of this anger and anxiety.  Any advice?

Thank you.

Dear Dawn,

I have to confess that given the dozens -- hundreds of emails I have received at the site that deal with child sexual abuse -- yours is the first that deals with woman to woman/girl to girl abuse.

In general, I think that beginning -- assuming this
is a first for you -- to talk about your experiences is the beginning of healing -- only after we have identified the problem or been able to speak openly about it, can we begin to heal. There are some great books that address this range of responses and emotions -- check out the work of Ellen Bass and Judith Herman. I'm not sure if they talk specifically about same gender abuse, but they do address being violated by someone that you love and trust and that's a more powerful and necessary common denominator.

Once you have begun on this path you might have to actually confront your sister or at least confront your family about the situation. You can't have expectations for a response, but you should be prepared to do this as a part of your healing.

There are also several therapists who have taken this issue are and I'm not sure where you are, but that would probably be a good step if you haven't taken it already. I know these are general suggestions, but I'm not an expert and therefore, can only be a referral.

-- Amy