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Violence

Hi,

I was molested for ten years of my youth. I am a man but I can never find sites for men.

My older sister and older brother raped me for 10 years, tied me up and had their way with me against my will. On top of that when my family finally found out, they cast me out beacuse I told the police and shamed them. It was my word against theirs and the police said they could not do anything. My own mother just wanted me to shut up about it.

I will now be 32 in June and I am tired of being alone with no-one to listen to me. I want to die. It would be easier. I live in Vancouver, Canada, and there seems no hope here. Would it be better if I was gone?

 

   

Sadly the response from your family is more common than not. Denial oddly becomes an easier route than challenging the situation. Of course, it would not be easier if you were just dead -- plus that gives power to them in some indirect way -- or even direct way.

It's important to figure out what would make you feel better about this and build from there. It's rare that justice comes in the form of real justice -- sadly too often the legal process works against us or doesn't do anything to accomodate the real injustice. So looking for justice using that traditional route is pointless -- or mostly so. You also can't depend on your families support -- but that doesn't mean that others won't support you - friends, and chosen family. I always find it odd that we put so much emphasis on biology -- there is no predeterminer that we should or have to get along. I think that your situation has proven this. I know that other friends who were sexually abused by a family member and then had the rest of the family turn on them -- have had no option, but to abandon their families and create new ones. That is painful, but it's even more painful to make something try to work that never will. I am not too familiar with groups in Canada -- I live in the US, but perhaps the following can direct you to more resources -- The National Action Committee on the Status of Women in Canada:

Take care,

— Amy

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