Joan
is a 43-year-old black woman who
works as a waitress in a bar and
restaurant. She often feels isolated,
as many of her co-workers are white
and have racist attitudes. A customer
who comes in every day begins to
flirt with Joan, making suggestive
comments about her clothing and
physical appearance. Unnerved by
his comments, she tries not to show
it because she doesn't want to lose
any tip money. Often he grabs at
her and touches her when she walks
by. She feels so anxious at work
that her stomach hurts, and she
starts to call in sick more and
more. She knows she needs to figure
something out or she'll eventually
lose her job.
One
16-year-old girl described her experience:
It
came to the point where I was skipping
almost all of my classes, therefore
getting me kicked out of the honors
program. I dreaded school each morning,
I started to wear clothes that wouldn't
flatter my figure, and I kept to
myself. I'd cry every night when
I got home, and I thought I was
a loser....Sometimes the teachers
were right there when it was going
on. They did nothing....I felt very
angry that these arrogant, narrow-minded
people never took the time to see
who really was inside.11
Sexual harassment is a powerful
way for men to undermine and control
us. Attitudes of race and class
superiority can result in a feeling
by white men that they are entitled
to sexually harass women of color
or employees from a "lower" class
or different background. There is
an implicit (and sometimes explicit)
message that our refusal to comply
with the harasser's demands will
lead to work-related reprisals.
These can include escalation of
harassment; poor work assignments;
sabotaging of projects; denial of
raises, benefits, or promotion;
and sometimes the loss of the job
with only a poor reference to show
for it. Harassment can drive women
out of a particular job or out of
the workplace altogether.
Socializing at work too often includes
flirting or joking about sex. Although
it may be a pleasant relief from
routine or a way to communicate
with someone we are interested in,
this banter can become insulting
or demeaning. It becomes sexual
harassment when it creates a hostile,
intimidating, or pressured working
environment.
There is such a taboo in many workplaces
and schools against identifying
sexual harassment for what it is
that many of us who experience it
are at first aware only of feeling
stressed. We may experience headaches,
anxieties, or resistance to going
to work in the morning. It may take
us a while to realize that these
symptoms come from our being sexually
harassed. We often respond by feeling
isolated and powerless, afraid to
say no or to speak out because we
fear either that we somehow are
responsible or that we won't receive
help in facing possible retaliation.
But when we take the risk and talk
with other women, we often find
that they are being harassed, too
(or have been), and have similar
responses to ours.
What You Can Do If You Are
Sexually Harassed*
Every
instance of sexual harassment is
different. The strategy you choose
will depend on many factors, including
how much you can afford to risk
losing your job and whether you
feel you can get support from your
co-workers. Race and class differences
may also affect how you respond,
partly because these differences
in a workplace can isolate workers
from one another. As you think about
whether and how you might respond
to sexual harassment, here are some
things to consider:
-
Remember
that you are not to blame. Sexual
harassment is imposed sexual
attention. No matter how complicated
the situation is, the harasser
is responsible for the abuse.
-
Document what happens. Keep
a detailed diary including dates,
times, and places. Save any
notes or pictures from the harasser--don't
throw them away in anger. Keep
a record of anyone who witnessed
the harassment.
-
Investigate your workplace or
school policy and grievance
procedure for sexual harassment
cases. Know its overall records
before you act.
-
Generate
support for yourself before
you take action: Break the silence,
talk with others, and ask for
help in working out a response.
-
Look
for others who have been harassed
who can act with you. Collective
action and joint complaints
strengthen your position. Try
to use organizations that already
exist, such as your union or
employee organization, or an
advocacy organization for your
particular racial or ethnic
group.
-
Let
the harasser know as directly
and explicitly as possible that
you are not interested in his
attentions. If you do this in
writing, keep a copy of your
letter.
