Dear Amy,

I am a stay at home mom and I have talked to other stay at home moms and we all feel that society is devaluing mothers who choose to stay home. Do you feel this is because of the feminist movements saying that women need to work outside of the home to be fulfilled? Is it okay to "work" in the home and raise our children and still feel valued as a women who have opinions? Why is it that so many people see this as a lazy job? Is feminist to blame? Please respond. I am desperately searching for answers.

Thank You,

Cheryl Smith

Dear Cheryl,

If you look at any gain that has been made in parenting -- from family leave to possible wages for homemaking to valuing "parenting" or "mothering" as a profession -- it is entirely due to feminists. I think that there remains some confusion about what is the ideal situation, because we don't yet value that each person's individual choices are just that and not a rejection of ours. As is, stay at homes feel judged by working mothers and vice versa. Most of this is entirely based on the other person's perceptions, not the reality of the situation. Feminists get blamed for this, when it's really the individual women who are doing the judging. I think that the workplace needs to change to accommodate the demands we all have at home and this is what feminists are trying to do, as well as trying to get wages or at least attributed wages for those mothers or fathers who stay at home full time.

-- Amy