Amy,

I'm a seventeen year old female. I'm pro-choice and until recently considered myself a feminist . Why until recently? Well, I was having a conversation with a guy and he said he didn't see how I could call myself a feminist if I wore make-up. Now it's not just this but a lot of things that have me questioning if I'm a real feminist. Am I?

Lydia

Dear Lydia,

Without even knowing you, I have no doubt that you are a feminist. I have to constantly remind people that feminism is not about what choice we make, but the freedom to make that choice. I honestly don't know of one feminist who doesn't wear make-up, but that's beside the point. The point is for feminism to help each person realize their own desires, wants, needs, etc... I don't personally wear make-up or dresses or perfume as a feminist statement, but in my case, and I imagine yours, too, doing so is a feminist statement, because I am doing so because I want to. We can't let these things distract us from the real goal of feminism, which is to make sure that everyone can make other choices about their lives. Like the choice to be in the rodeo or to leave an abusive marriage or to make a million bucks as corporate CEO or to be a stay-at-home mom and be valued and respected in that role. These are things that feminism is really working on. If you wear make-up or thong underwear while you do that -- so-be-it. I hope that helps and I hope you will stop questioning your feminism, but not your map.

Amy