Dear Amy,

We are students in a fifth grade classroom, in Vaughn, Washington.

Several of the girl students are having a hard time getting along. The thing that seems to give us the most trouble is fighting over each others friendship. It is very hard to be friends with everyone. Some of my girlfriends get mad at me if I am friendly to other girls, and I don't understand why they are mad at me. It is making me very sad. One of the things that is making it difficult is that it is taking away from our classroom learning and our teacher is getting frustrated with us because we're always fighting and disagreeing with each other. We have tried lots of different things but the problem continues. Do you have any suggestions? We are desperate to think of something new to help us. Please reply.

Sincerely,

Jeanne

Dear Jeanne,

There is actually a book out now called Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman and it entirely dissects girls relationships. Her book describes exactly what you are experiencing and she actually does a workshop to go along with the book. You might want to try to bring her to your school -- you can learn more at www.empowered.org. Also, I think it's important to keep in mind that those girls who are the meanest are the ones who are the most insecure - and they are doing this precisely to make sure that no attention is taken away from them. And I think it's also important to remember that we each have things that we are insecure about and when we think that we are alone when we feel this way, remember that others feel this way, too. It's good that you are talking about it -- maybe that alone will help.

Amy