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I’m wondering if I could have some honest
feedback from you regarding the feminine ideal
and our self worth. How are you affected by the
female image that has been fed to us since we
were little girls (i.e. Barbie, princess, ballerina,
model)? How do you separate yourself from this
ideal, how do you disregard the ideal, how do
you feel about the ideal?
It's easy to say, well I don’t concern
myself with it because it doesn’t matter...
but realistically, I believe every woman somewhere
in her mind is affected by the impositions placed
on us to be good little girls who do as we're
told.
I would imagine you were raised in a very liberal
environment? (Sorry if that's privileged information
I am inquiring about.) But even if we are raised
in a very progressive household, there is still
the social pressure of which we need to contend.
How do you deal with it? |
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I absolutely agree that those beauty/looks/image
standards are something that no woman or really
person escapes. There is too much in our culture
to endorse and alternatively ridicule certain
images and we can't avoid falling into perpetuating
those narrow beliefs. And it does anger me when
people pretend they aren't affected by those
pressures, because even if you are rejecting
them or fighting against them, you are still
impacted. I don't think I have entirely rid myself
of it, but I have learned to figure out what
I am uniquely capable of.
For me, it really took
being in an all-woman environment — be
it sports teams and later at an all woman's college — where
women are just very honest with each other ( "I
like your butt" or "I wish I had those jeans"). Having
that type of conversation made me realize that
I did have "assets" and that as much
as I admired something in someone else, they
admired something in me. That exchange helped
me to re-examine some of own impressions of myself.
I also learned that I should compliment women — because
when they hear the good stuff, they learn to
rethink their own biases.
I also think that I
have learned not to be competitive with other
women — I don't need to have everything
that my friend's have. I can take pleasure in
what they have. With time I have also learned
to care less....and I simply don't have time
to obsess like I once did. And with all that
said, I think that my mother did have a huge
influence over me. She never wore make-up, didn't
really care about clothes or fashion, didn't
really exercise, etc. And while I made different
choices, I also took note of what she did and
how she didn't care.
— Amy
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