I am a young feminist activist with, I feel, not a lot of everday real-life power. One situation I am ashamed to admit is my now-ex boyfriend has admitted to watching over 50 pornographic videos claiming that they are "funny" and refuses to stop. He is also unfortuantely a Christian. I am non religious, I just wanted to show the already known hypocrisy there. Anyway, I am writing him a farewell letter and wanted to know the single best essay you can think of to enlighten a man on pornograpy. I just got fininshed reading Alice Walker's womanist approach and being "white" I don't feel her references would work for me though it was a powerful essay. Please help the many of us in this situation.

Thanks for your note to FEMINIST.COM--and I'm sorry that you have had to deal with your ex-boyfriend's hypocrisy. I, like you, am non-religious or maybe I'm multi-religious--so even though I don't buy into the religious party lines, I think you should remind him that he is a sinner for indulging in pornography. Since that probably won't go too far, I suggest Diana Russell's book Against Pornography, which has the most repulsive photos of pornography and underscores it's subjectification of women and it's potential danger. (You can order it c/o Russell Publications, 2018 Shattuck #118, Berkeley, CA 94704. She also has another book--Making Violence Sexy.) Another thought is Gloria Steinem's article "Erotica v. Pornography," which can be found in her book Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions (available at the FEMINIST.COM Bookstore).

I hope that helps to persuad him that his laughs are often at the expense of someone else. Thanks for taking the time to point that out to him. Good luck.

—Amy