I hope you can at least direct me to a place where someone can address my serious concerns regarding the family court system. I have been having a horrible time, beyond verbal description, with the court regarding my children and their father's visitation. I am on my third lawyer. It's a small town with a lot of inbreeding and I'm hitting brick wall after brick wall when all I am trying to do is protect my kids. I have spoken to so many women who've had similar problems only to be told by their lawyers, "too bad...there's nothing you can do". I can't believe that short of having my kids disappear and leave the country, resulting in my imprisonment, there's nothing I can do. Please, I need help. This garbage of protecting father's rights is now resulting in destroying a lot of mothers out here. What more "women's issue" is there?

Thanks for your note and please don't take this the wrong way, in fact I bet you can relate, but I hate notes like yours because they make me (and you) feel so powerless. I can't tell you how many notes I have received from women who are in a very similiar situation to you. I also know of a few women who have had to resort to changing their identities and escaping. Unfortunately, some times it is the only option.

There is a book by Phyllis Chesler Mothers on Trial, which documents exactly this phenomenon--that is how biased the courts are against mothers and toward fathers. One of the facts that Chesler uncovers is that in 60-80% of the cases when fathers ask for custody they get it. It's just that they don't ask that often and, unfortunately, sometimes when they do they are doing it because they are trying to protect their "property." Anyway, enough restating the obvious, but I wanted to let you know about this book in case you don't already so that you can possibly find some connections in it.

Now, for some help. I'm not sure what state you are in, but Karen Winner who wrote Divorced from Justice and who has an organization of the same name has a state by state directory of attorneys who have been helpful in similiar cases. I suggest that you start there. (www.divorcedfromjustice.com). She has been extremely helpful in the past. If this doesn't work and you need further recommendations, please don't hesitate to ask. Good luck.

—Amy