I'm trying to find a political organization which concerns itself with the prevention of rape. That is, the problem is with our society and not the women yet the emphasis are on women protecting themselves and helping survivors. What is being done to make the streets safer? There has to be someone with whom I can pool my efforts. —Steve

Thanks for your commitment to ending rape. You are not alone. There are many great organizations doing very similar work—many which you should join forces with.

Men's Groups include:

• Men Against Rape and Pornography, PO Box 81856, Pittsburgh, Pa 15217
• Men's Anti-Rape Resource Center, PO Box 73559, Washington, DC 20056
• Men Stopping Rape, Inc., PO Box 316, 306 North Brooks Street, Madison, Wisconsin 53715
• Oakland Men's Project, Oakland, CA
• Men's' Issues Discussion Group, Reed College, 3203 NE Woodstock Blvd., Portland, OR 97202.
• Men Stopping Rape, Inc., PO Box 316, 306 North Brooks Street, Madison, WI 53715.
• National Organization for Men Against Sexism, c/o MOVE, 54 Mint Street, Suite 300, San Francisco, CA 94103.
• You might also check out our section of Pro-Feminist Men's Groups and our Violence Against Women links.

Thanks for your note to Feminist.com—and for taking the time to "educate" your sophomore class on the topic of rape. In an ideal world, I wish we could spend our school projects on more celebratory things, but given the prevalence of things such as rape this is where we should be putting our energies. Education is the first step toward positive results and empowerment, so thanks for encourage other steps. That said, here are some things you should know:

"Somewhere in America a woman or girl is raped every 2 minutes." by National Crime Victimization Survey, Bureau of Justice, 1996.

"In 1995, 354,670 women were victims of rape or sexual assault." by National Crime Victimization Survey, Bureau of Justice, 1996.

"Approximately 28% of victims are raped by their husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives." by Violence Against Women Bureau, Bureau of Justice Statistics.

"The FBI estimates that only 37% of rapes are reported to the police."

"A majority of rape service agencies believe that public education about rape and expanded counseling and advocacy services for rape victims would be effective in increasing the willingness of victims to report rapes to the police."

"One of every four reported rapes takes place in a public area or in a parking garage."

• National Clearinghouse on Marital and Date Rape, which is a clearinghouse running campaigns to change customs, pollicies, behaviors and laws. To learn more contact: [email protected]
• Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN). To learn more: 800-656-HOPE or [email protected]
• National Victim Center
• Feminist.com's Violence Against Women Resources
• The Violence Against Women Chapter in the Our Bodies, Ourselves Reading Room here at Feminist.com.

Books you could reference:

• Against Our Will: Men, Women, and Rape by Susan Brownmiller (Bantam Books, NYC, 1975)
• I Never Called It Rape by Robin Warshaw

Thanks for your note to Feminist.com. Unfortunately, I'm not a doctor and therefore, can't professionally answer your question. However, through my work with women's issues, I am familiar with many resources in response to sexual abuse. I also personally know many people who have had similar experiences. In many instances it takes talking openly and honestly about the abuse to be able to have healthy sexual relations. In other instances it takes the trust and assurance that you lover can provide to assure you that sex can be safe and not violating. Here are some books I suggest you take a look at to help you move toward this place of safety.

• Your Inner Child of the Past by W. Hugh Missildine
• Father Daughter Incest by Judith Lewis Herman
• The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse by Jennifer J. Freyd
• Breaking Down the Wall of Silence: The Liberating Experience of Facing Painful Truth by Alice Miller

I'm sorry that you have been subjected to comments that make you feel uncomfortable. Sexual harassment is a fine line and I'm not an expert. From what I know, I would say "yes" that it can be "female to female" and "no" it does not exist outside of the framework of the "employer-employee." If it falls out of the context of the workplace, I think that it becomes verbal sexual discrimination or something like that. As I understand sexual harassment laws, they were established to prevent women and men from being subjected to unnecessary and sometimes harmful comments and gestures that are gender based. These comments/gestures come from a "superior" and therefore innately intimidate the employee, leaving them little room to speak our against their "superior." This then creates an workplace that it not comfortable to work in.

As for your situation, it sounds like a good first step would be to simply tell your apartment manager that although she may mean for her comments to be flattering, they make you feel uncomfortable. If that doesn't work, maybe try subtle threats and if that doesn't work....maybe look for a new apartment.

I hope that helps. Good luck. —Amy