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My friend and I are both
sixteen years old. Last week
we found out that she was pregnant.
We told her mother and my parents,
both said she should get an
abortion, I agree. She dosen't
know what to do, but really
there is no other choice. She
is underpriviledged and the
family lives off of social-security
and survivor's benefits from
her father's death.
The father of her child
is already denying the child.
Another one of our friends is
telling her that people who
have abortions are sick and
it's wrong, and my friend is
very into her image and how
she appears to other people
so she's going along with her.
My question is how do I and
my family and her mother convince
her that abortion is the way
to go?
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I have some advice. First,
from what you say, your friend
is concerned about her image
and about potentially being
described as "sick" for having
an abortion--however, I can
assure her, that there are far
greater stigma's against single,
teenage mothers than there are
against people who have abortions.
However, I can't deny the obvious.
There is a stigma against people
who have abortions--yet 1 in
4 women have abortions, so it's
really just projecting your
guilt onto someone else.
I had an abortion when I was
19--I'm now 29--and I have never
once regretted it. When I had
my abortion, I thought that
I was "dirty" - not necessarily
for having the abortion, but
for getting pregnant in the
first place. Your friend has
to be able to figure this out,
too--which is it--the pregnancy
or the abortion. My guess is
that it is the former. Because
I realized that no one should
be made to feel ashamed of their
circumstances, I vowed to speak
out about the fact that I had
an abortion in order to get
rid of some of the stigma. So
this note is one more attempt
to do that.
Most of my friends have had
abortions--and once you get
a little older it is easier
to talk about. Also, given her
circumstances, as described
by you, I think that if she
chose to have this child it
would not be in the child's
best interest--and, therefore,
would be a selfish decision
on her part.
I hope the above helps--and
I hope that if she chooses to
have an abortion, that she goes
to a safe place to have it.
I recommend any Planned
Parenthood clinic. Good
luck and make sure your friend
knows how lucky she is to have
a friend like you
—Amy
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