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Dear Amy, It's only been
2 months since my abuse happened
with my ex-boyfriend, but I
still think about It everyday,
and I can't seem to get him
out of my mind. Everyday I'm
reminded about the abuse, because
my family reminds me of what
I went through, and that I
will be ok. I personally don't
feel as If I will be ok. I
still feel as If he(the abuser)can
get to me to hurt me , and
my children.
To get to the story the abuse
started happening when we found
out that I was pregnant with
my second child and his second
child. I have a 4-year-old
daughter, and now pregnant
again at the age of 22yrs.
Now him he already has a 3yr
old son, and now the one I'm
pregnant with. He was the sweetest
guy I thought I have ever had
until the day came when I told
him I was pregnant then everything
went down hill.
This Is when the physical,
sexual, and emotional abuse
started. He would force me
to have sex with him anally
until I bleed, being pregnant
through all of this. At that
time I thought the baby coming
would help the situation, but
It didn't It just made It worse.
Then the physical abuse started,
It didn't matter If I was pregnant
with his child or not he still
did It. Here are a list of
the things he would do to me:
Beat me for not having the
house clean, Beat me for not
having dinner ready on the
table when he got home from
work, Beat me for not having
the kids in bed with a bath,
beat me till I bled one time
for getting sick, and for going
to the hospital when I was
pregnant, Beat me for going
next door to see my friend,
because he always thought I
was sleeping with her and her
boyfriend. I always got accused,
he would come home drunk, and
sexually abuse me by making
me give a blow job, until I
got sick all over him then
he would beat me for getting
sick on him.
He has burnt me with cigarette
butts still red hot, He would
push me into the stove while
it was red hot I have the marks
to prove it. He would choke
me till I was blue in the face
for no reason at all, I have
had to sleep outside one night,
it was freezing outside, He
kicked me in the stomach when
I was pregnant to make me lose
the baby, Every time he kicked
me I went into having contractions
at 6 months pregnant, He has
pulled my hair out and cut
it all off, I have had numerous
black eyes and bumps on my
head from him beating me in
the head. I could name so many
more, but they would probably
take up two pages. I finally
gave up at one point, and was
able to call the police, and
he went to jail.
The only thing is that I took
him back all, because he said
he was sorry, and it would
never happen again. Then I
was in the car with him and
our new son, because by this
point our other two kids got
taken away because he sexually
abused them and physically
abused them as well, and I
was to stupidly in love with
this man that would hurt my
children and I never really
wanted to believe it.
So at this point we were in
the car together with our newborn
son, and he was drunk, and
driving, I had lit a cigarette
and he told me to put it out,
but on my way of throwing it
out the window he started pulling
my hair. I was close enough
to get his throat and neck
so i bit down as hard as i
possibly could, but that was
a dumb move on my part because
he started beating me in the
head with his balled up fists.
Well as he was doing this
he was still driving and there
was a cop sitting in the middle
of the road helping out someone
else, the thing that went through
my mind was it was either save
my life and jump out or for
him to keep going home and
for him to put my son in danger,
so i jumped out of the moving
car. the cop asked what was
going on, and at that time
he(the abuser) took off with
my son in the car. the cops
finally caught him and he went
to jail. While he was in jail
my only son left, because DSS
took him away, because I put
him in danger.
Well this is my story, and
what I want to know is why
even after it is said and done
and I'm no longer with him(abuser)that
i can't get the abuse out of
me and off my mind even when
i talk to my counselor?
It so hard living day after
day thinking about what he
has done to my family and me.
I still don't have my kids
back, but now I'm engaged to
a very loving man that my family
approves of, and I'm really
close to getting my kids back.
I did start my life over but
I still think of him (abuser)
in a way that it doesn't seem
as if it will ever go away,
but every one says that it
will take some time but it
feels as if he can still hurt
me, and its hard for me to
trust anyone that I'm with
that they aren't going to do
the same even though they say
they never will.
Well if you would please respond
back to me as soon as possible.
Sincerely, and thank you, Tiffany
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