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Dear Amy,

When I was 9 years old, I was sexually abused by my uncle. It went on for a month when I realized that what he was doing was wrong. I told my parents and they kicked him out of the house. However, after that night that I told them, they never spoke about it again.

Now, six years later, I am still not over it and I am unsure of what to do. My uncle also has a daughter who is 15 and a son who is 16; I want them to know, but am not sure if I should tell them. I also want myself to stop thinking about what happened and move on.

What should I do? Please help

~Confused Victim



It certainly doesn't surprise me that you are still thinking about what happened to you.

Not only should it continue to haunt you, but double so if you have had no outlet to talk about it. I think that your parents might be keeping quite in an attempt to protect you. They might think that you don't want to talk about it and therefore, the onus might be on you to broach the subject. I have heard of many instances when the parents aren't supportive of their children in situations like these and the fact that your parents were, leads me to believe that they are open to discussing this.

I also think that they might have advice on how to tell your cousins. You should broach the subject with them primarily because they might have experienced something similar, which would also be tragic. Based on the experiences of friends who have experienced sexual abuse, I am pretty confident that talking about it in a supportive community helps to heal.

Good luck and let me know how else I might be able to help -- take care.

-- Amy

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