Hi,

My name is Steve and I live in New Zealand. I have lived for 23 years in an emotionally abusive and a physically violent relationship. I can no longer function properly on a day-to-day basis. I have lost my confidence and self esteem. I have been so degraded as to my sexuality; I don't know what reality is any more. I am depressed and am somewhat antisocial. I find it very hard to be civil toward woman. I am hurting. I have lost weight and have a condition call irritable bowl syndrome.

Can you help?

Steve,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Reaching out is often the first step in the healing process, so that bodes well for where you are at.

Having interacted with many people who have been violated as well as those who have violated, I know that verbalizing what has otherwise been internal pain is the biggest barrier, acknowledging what you are feeling and perhaps why you might be feeling that way. That said, it is only the beginning and it's important that you feel listened to in the process of your truth telling. I hope that you can get the support you need.

Take care,

-- Amy