Hi my name is Chantelle, and I have just recently had a baby 3 weeks ago. My boyfriend for a year has only started to hit me in the jaw, choke me, put me in a headlock, bite, head-butt, and grab me, etc. I feel so frustrated that it's happened, I just want to kill myself. He has raised his hand at my son about to shake him.I don't know what else to do. I had him charged and I stopped seeing him but now I am scared for mine and my son’s safety.

My parents, family and friends can't give me too much advice about what to do because they know him. Can you help me? I'm only 18 years old and I don't know what to do.

Sincerely,

Chantelle

For your own sake and for your child's you do need to (at least temporarily) find a safer environment. Violent situations are more likely to escalate than to de-escalate. You can certainly try to justify the "new" behavior, by the new circumstance (new baby, etc.), but if these habits are there, they aren't likely to go away until properly dealt with. Until then, you can't subject yourself to that behavior. I hope that you have family to go to and also some support network.

You can't blame yourself, you had no idea, but you also can't ignore it. Calling (800) 799-SAFE can put you in touch with a local support group.

Good luck,

-- Amy