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It was with great anguish and dismay that I read in our local paper this morning, that another woman had been stalked and killed by her ex-boyfriend. Her three young children are left alone, without their mother's love to sustain them. The killer had at one time been her live-in boyfriend. After he became progressively verbally and physically abusive, she attempted to have him thrown out.  Police had been summoned to the residence at least three times because of loud domestic confrontations. She and her children were eventually removed from the house with police protection.  As usual, the male was served with a restraining order.  He spent a short period of time in jail but was freed when he posted $1,000 bond.  Even though he had repeatedly threatened to kill her, he was freed.  Then, this morning he confronted her on the school bus which she drove. Once on the bus he stabbed her until she was dead.  Fortunately it was at the beginning of her morning route and there were no children on the bus to witness this brutal attack.

Restraining orders have historically done nothing to prevent such domestic attacks. Therefore, I am proposing some alternative measures which could possibly help:

1. If the police have been summoned three times, the abuser should be required to wear an ankle bracelet for a minimum of one year.This would allow the police to monitor his movement and to determine if he was complying with the provisions of the restraining order.

2.  The abused female should be encourage (or required) by police to acquire a small hand gun for her personal defense.  She should be trained how to use it and be instructed were to store it safely in her house. If she lacks funds, money should be made available to her through organizations.  If she objects to a gun, perhaps a guard dog could be made available through the Humane Society or ASPCA.

3.  She should be encouraged to obtain a home security system. This was a working mother and she possibly had some funds to assist in purchasing a home security system.  If she is lacking funds, they should be made available to her through caring local organizations.

4.  Her employer should always be alerted for this potential attack. They would need to have the abusers name and hopefully a photo so that he can be denied job access. It is a national tragedy that these attacks continue in such high numbers. The restraining order has proved to be a useless piece of paper.

 I hope these suggestions are of some merit to you.




Dear William,

Thanks for sharing your notes and frustration with us at feminist.com. I'm hoping that you sent these suggestions to your local paper, your local police, and with the local domestic violence service agency. It's likely that they have fought for and promoted similar measures. It is a crime that so much has to happen before action can be taken, and as this situation points out, often it is too late.

I hope you are able to make some progress.


-- Amy