Hello,

I came across your website on the net when I was looking for some help for the trauma that I am undergoing. I was raped when I was 6 year old by a neighbour.. I am getting the memories of it now and feel I will never ever get married in life and this is troubling me a lot.. I am an Indian and in India its very important for a girl to get married.. I hate life . and I feel like dying.Dont understand what to tod..how do i come out of this all..

I feel my body is badly damaged.. Why ever should this happen to me?? Can you help me out.. I hope you understand what i am going thorugh...

Please help

Regards, Asha

Dear Asha,

Sorry to hear about your situation. If you have read through previous Ask Amy's, which are posted at the site, you will see that others have experienced what you have experienced and most have come up with some resolution for it -- in general, just being able to discuss it for the first time is the first step in healing for most people. Having to keep silent really does cause long term pain, mostly associated with unnecessary guilt. There are some great books out there -- just as those by Judith Herman and Ellen Bass -- and these will help you realize that you are not alone, as well as give you some steps for correcting it. An important component of healing is to get into other relationships to realize that what happened once, doesn't have to happen again.

There are tons of people out there who are sensitive to this abuse and will want to work through it with you. This is all to say that I'm confident you will be able to find your way to healthier relationships. I hope the above mentioned resources will be helpful.

Good luck and take care,

— Amy