I'm the father of 4 children. I was divorced in 1970 at which time another man moved in with my wife and children. I've just now found out that this man had been raping my daughter when she was 11 and for several years after (she's in her mid 30s now and still sleeps with her eyes open and has nightmares, he'd rape them while they were asleep). He also raped my two sons of around the same age and probably the third son. Before my family he raped his own daughter when she was 13. It was thrown out of court because the mother, his then wife, was an alcaholic, this happened in the late 60's or early 70's. He raped his daughter again when she was 15. When his daughter Cory told me about all this she started to cry and said maybe if she would have "gave it" to him maybe he would love her.

I haven't talked to everyone involved yet because I want to find out if it's not to late to do something about it. This all happened probably during most or all of the seventies starting 1970 when they were ages 11 the youngest and 14 the oldest. It could even be more recent but I'll get the exact dates when needed. My question is if there is a time problem in prosecuting for something like these rapes.

If nothing else he should go to jail until my daughter gets over her nightmares and sleeps with her eyes closed and pay for psychiatrist treatments for those victims that need it, as long as they need it. I'd apprecitate any addresses, phone numbers, Internet addresses or any info whatsoever you can give me on who to contact in the Seattle area or the Oregon area which is where this took place. Thanks.

I can't imagine what you are going through and I send my best wishes to everyone involved. With all the work that I do with women's issues, I see many situations that are similar to yours. If we continue to live in denial about the reality of child sexual abuse, it will continue to happen in the obscene numbers that it does.

Legally, I'm not sure what can be done. To inquire, please contact the following, who work with this issue on an ongoing basis:

• Communities Against Violence Network ("CAVNET")
  
  

If legally nothing can be done with your case, at least personally, you will begin to resolve this trauma in your own family and be an honest example for others to learn from. This speaking up is the first step toward recovery.

I hope this helps. Good luck to you and your family. I hope your children know how lucky they are to have a parent--or anyone--who is willing to listen. Sometimes this is what really makes a difference.

—Amy