Hey. I don't really know why I am writing this, but I am. I have been going with this guy for about three months. The other day I kinda upset him a little and he hit me. I fell down a flight of stairs and now I am on cruthches. I still love him and he said he was sorry. He didn't mean to do it. He has given me lord knows how many roses since then and dozens on chocolates, he even bought me a necklace. I love him and he loves me but there's always this thought in the back of my mind: did he mean to do it or was it just an accident. Well, just wanted to tell someone the truth. Lying's really getting to me. Thanks for listening. Bye!

Thanks for your note to FEMINIST.COM. I don't want to sound like your mother, but sometimes that is what people need. I know that you don't want to feel like you are over-reacting over nothing, but the common scenerio is for people to brush it off as "oh, it will only happen once." There are supposedly other obvious signs to pick up on the signs of "an abusive relationship," but I am not qualified to tell you what those are. I do suggest that you contact a local group that provides this type of service. For instance in New York City there is a place called Victim Services, which provides this type of advice and support. Their contact information is:
Victim Services
2 Lafayette Street
New York, New York 10007
Hotline: #212-577-7777

You might also want to check out our section of Violence Against Women links for more resources and information. Good luck--and please don't try to down play the potential severity

—Amy