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I want to assure you that the
most important option to consider
is your own happiness. Given
that you want to work outside
of the home and your husband
doesn't honor this it's almost
as if he is denying you your
happiness. That's certainly
not right or fair. The first
option seems to be to get him
to try to see the error of his
ways - i.e. to get him to comprehend
that he is asking you to deny
a part of yourself - the part
that wants to work outside of
the home.
Also, it sounds like it is
in his best interest and certainly
your children's if you do work
outside of the home. I say that
because it sounds like they
are dependent on you in that
role - and, therefore, they
deserve to see that you have
your own desires and ambitions
- just like they do. Another
option is certainly that you
leave him. From what you have,
which is relatively little -
this isn't out of the realm
of possibility. However, you
are right that your lifestyle
is likely to decrease, while
his is likely to increase. Certainly,
your role as wife and mother
would be honored, but given
other similar cases - it's never
quite enough.
A third option - have you tried
getting a job and not asking
his permission? A part-time
job and then just telling him.
That sounds a little sneaky,
but do you confirm everything
you do on a daily basis with
him? Good luck figuring this
all out. As I began this note,
I will end this note - your
priority should be you and your
happiness.
—Amy
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