What God Means to Me
By Jazmin K., 12 years old

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Dear whoever you are,

Photo by Jennifer Esperanza

I am going to tell you about my spirituality. This may take long and I have a tendency to write too much so bear with me. Oh joy I just made this longer than it needs to be. Sorry! I am Jewish and currently studying for my Bat Mitzvah but I don’t know if that is necessarily my spiritual belief.  I don’t quite believe all of the practices of Judaism.  My family celebrates the Jewish holidays and since my Bat Mitzvah is coming up we have been pretty active at our Temple but we are definitely not Orthodox.  When I ask my parents if they believe in Judaism they say “Sometimes, I am more spiritual.” I think that spiritual is a good word to describe me. I don’t quite believe in Judaism but I do believe in God. Sometimes when I think of God I get into mental wall thinking about how God looks, are you living, are you part of nature, and what is my personal belief. I sometimes think how is it possible to have this sprit, or thing, or soul, watching over us? At one point of my life I believed God was in everything, it was nature. I do still believe that but I don’t know if that is really all of God’s power. When I think about God sometimes I come to the conclusion that there must not be a real “god” or “internal light” or “Buddha” or “Jesus” or …. I feel as if it is all almost lies. But then I think to myself it can’t be. Then how can you explain miracles?  I pray often. Not like written prayers but thoughts that are directed toward “God”. Though I don’t quite know what my God is I send out pleas to whoever is protecting me. Sometimes I think really hard and wish with all my heart and things happen. Though they are little things like winning a mystery prize or getting a good part in a play if I really put all my heart towards it, it is likely to happen. Ever since as far as I remember my family and I “omed”. We all say the word “OM” in unison and pray. I don’t even quite know what the word “OM” means but I think it is Buddhist and it makes me feel safe. I used to think it was ridiculous and I stopped doing it for awhile. I was embarrassed. I realized how important it is to be spiritual. To really contact yourself. During our “OM” I think of all of the people I love or people who need healing and luck and what I want for myself and send my thoughts to whomever “God” is.  I will someday know who God is. It may be the day I die when I find out. But for now this wall won’t break down and I will continue praying to whoever looks over me. Whoever you are or whatever you are I also want you to know “Thanks and I am sending my love”.

Sincerely,
Jazmin K.

P.S. I think that in Judaism you’re not suppose to write God’s name out – it’s supposed to be G-d, but I am sorry and am too lazy to go edit every G-d I wrote in this paper.